Husband doesn’t know our daughter is his niece

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 and I want to talk to you about a matter. I wish we could have met in person, but that is not possible.

I have one child and I am married. My child's father and I had a relationship when I was about 20 years old. He got me and another girl pregnant at the same time. She lives in America and I was living in Jamaica. We really loved each other. He left Jamaica and joined his parents who were living in America.

My pregnancy was in the early stage. We talked about it and two nights before he left Jamaica, we had beautiful sex. When I realised that we were not going to see each other for a while, I cried. I asked him for more sex, so he complied. His brother always loved me so when this man left, I got involved with his brother. I had sex with him and he discharged in me. So he thought that he was the one who got me pregnant when I told him that I missed my period. Right away, he said I should not worry because it was time for him to become a father. I kept my mouth shut, but I knew that it was his brother who got me pregnant. His brother and I have kept this secret between us. I have never told anybody about it.

This man sent me money occasionally and he always told me that he loves me. Recently, I went to Florida and he travelled from New York to meet with me. I spent a night with him. I know you would say shame on me, but I had sex with him and it was out of this world. I have never stopped loving this man, but I know it was wrong. It was like nothing had changed between us. No one in my family knew that he flew down to Florida to be with me.

When he was leaving to go back to New York, he gave me US$600 and told me I should spend half on his child. His brother and I are married, but we do not have children together. The only child that I have is that first child that my husband thinks is his. I never told him the child is his; he took it for granted that it is his child. The child carries a strong resemblance of the family, so no one has ever questioned whether the child belongs to my husband.

I know what I did was wrong. Do you think I could ever get forgiveness? I know that if we were not living so far apart from each other, I would have sex with him again because I love him so much. Tell me how you feel about me. Please protect me by withholding my initials.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

You say that you know I am going to condemn you, but you have condemned yourself by what you have written.

You are wicked and shameless. Many men have accepted children who they did not father, and we raise our hands to those men for taking on the task of supporting these children. But good women ought not to tell men that they are the ones who are responsible for getting them pregnant, and think nothing of it.

This man's biological brother impregnated you and you knew it, yet you have lied. All these years you have given your husband the impression that he is the biological father of your daughter. You are not to be trusted at all. You have continued to have sex with this man although you are married, and you are proud to say that you will do so again if distance was not a factor. No wonder some men speak evil of women. But thank God, all women are not like you.

I hope that the day will come when your husband will find out the truth. That is all I am prepared to say at this time.

Pastor