Boyfriend left me because I’m a stripper

February 13, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I am having a problem. I am working in a club and I dance. It's not every night I have to strip. But there are special nights.

All different types of men come to the club to watch us, and some get involved with us. I had a boyfriend. We were friends for two years.

He came to the club and then later on he told me that he didn't like me working there because he saw how the men behaved when I was stripping.

I told him that the men were watching me, but he should remember that I was going home with him. He said his friends would know after a while that his girlfriend strips.

I couldn't take the nagging any longer, so I told him we should break up because what he was giving me was not enough, and I had to dress up and look good every day.


I never stopped dancing at the club. I got involved with a businessman. He told me that he came to the club just for kicks, but he had his children and his wife. But Friday nights he would go to the club to relax.

This man and I became good friends. He helped me to rent a place and told me that I should only call him on his cell when he is at work.

He said that whenever he comes to the club, I should not behave as if I knew him. He furnished my one-bedroom place and I am quite comfortable.

Now my ex is trying to get back at me and even set people to watch me. I don't want him back, but he is not taking no for an answer.

I am afraid to tell my present boyfriend because I don't want him to leave me.

Please, tell me what to do.


Dear T.A.,

You are a young girl and you mean well. This man you describe as your ex is in love with you.

Perhaps he wants to come back to you because he sees that you are doing well. He misses you. He may consider the breaking up between the both of you to be a rejection.

On the other hand, you are afraid to give up what you have and to become intimate again with this man. You have told him the relationship is over.

Although I can't sanction what you are doing right now, I can't encourage you to go back to this man. It is unlikely that he would like you to continue dancing.

You might not get much out of him except sex. If he persists in harassing you, or to pressure you in any way, you might have to talk to a lawyer and take out a restraining order against him.

I repeat, I am not sanctioning the life you are living right now with the married man. I am only saying that I would not encourage you to renew the relationship with this other man.

What I would encourage you to do is to try your best and go back to school. Get yourself an education. You could lose on men, but you can't lose on education.

Only women without ambition do not seek to educate themselves. So, please, be numbered among the wise women who have ambition and goals, and would like to be in situations where they can get good jobs to support themselves. I wish you well.


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